The Last Answers?

The Last Answers?

  1:10 AM    Unknown

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Note: If you do not like the narrative, irreverent style of this story, I apologize. If you like the style, I hope you find it enjoyable and informative. Actually, I hope everyone does.

A friend once marveled that despite the fact I hardly ever go anywhere, I can't step out of my door without having an adventure. The reason for this is that every adventure needs conflict, something to overcome, and anytime I leave the house, I have to overcome my many neuroses and foibles.

In short, I have to overcome myself, so everything is an adventure, or at least can be. So if going to the store at a slow leisurely pace can turn into an adventure, imagine how adventurous my exploits can be if I'm suddenly thrust into the middle of John Grisham novel.

That's how this feels.

So, after working damn near constantly for the past five days and writing stories and laying out pages for The Ocilla Star until 3 a.m., I slept until 1 p.m. on Tuesday, February 28, 2017. As usual for those days I was greeted by dozens of friend requests, messages and comments on Facebook. The rumors run together over time, so it's hard to pinpoint exactly what made me check out the "Up and Vanished" discussion board, but I did.

Rumors were piling up about something I had heard since a few hours before the press conference the previous week: A pecan orchard in Ben Hill County. Someone said there was a search, but I heard that every day. In fact, I was planning to go poke around there later in the day.

But one post on the discussion board was a link to a story on WALB News, the local television station from Albany, Georgia. The story said the Georgia Bureau of Investigation planned an announcement in the Tara Grinstead case some time soon. The time of the report said 2:45. It was 2:50-something.

I had planned to take a little bit of a break that afternoon, so of course I had not dressed or bathed, but I clawed into some clothes and brushed my teeth like a Flash. I mean like the superhero, not just fast, Flash fast.

But I didn't know where to go. The WALB report's dateline said Ben Hill County, not Irwin County as I would have assumed had I not read the dateline. I called work, and no one there knew. I called a law enforcement contact, who passed me on to another officer, who said, "They were gonna have something at the Ben Hill County Sheriff's Office, but it might be over by now."

I zoomed to my car at superheroic speed.

But before I tell you about my trip to Fitzgerald, I want to tell you an anecdote from last week.

Payne Lindsey, or as I call him around town, Payne the Podcast Guy, and his friend Donald spent the night in South Georgia on the Thursday an arrest was made in the Grinstead case. They had not planned for an overnight trip, so they asked if there was a Walmart around so they could buy clothes for the next day.

Neither of them look like they shop at Fashions by Walmart.

When I saw Payne the next day, he was wearing a particular button-up shirt that I recognized. I said, "That must be your Walmart shirt." He said it was.

"I know," I said, "Because I've got one just like it."

He said it wasn't a bad shirt, "But it's too hot." He was right. The material is thick. In the heat, it's stifling. You could wrap your coffee in it to keep it warm.

So of course that was the shirt I wore on what turned out to be the most sweltering day of the year so far.

What's worse, when I jumped out of my car at the Ben Hill County Sheriff's Office, I noticed that this stuffy, insulation disguised as a shirt was also mis-buttoned. One side was up and the other down, like a fault line after an earthquake. I looked ridiculous, or should I say, more ridiculous, as I introduced myself to a beautiful lady reporter in the parking lot.

I had to introduce myself because I was told I just missed the GBI's briefing, which desperately disappointed me. I hoped the reporter could give me the gist of what was said, but she directed me to another reporter, and he wasn't as beautiful, if that matters, but seemed to be a nice guy.

He said the GBI confirmed that a search was ongoing in Ben Hill County. I asked if a body was found, and he said no. He asked where I would look, and since he had shared with me, I shared with him.

I said Highway 129, north of Fitzgerald.

As early as the early afternoon of February 23, before the press conference announcing the arrest of Ryan Duke, I heard mention of a place people went to party at a pecan orchard in Ben Hill County. I heard the rumor was that her body was burned there. I heard it was Randy Hudson's property. The next day, I got a solid sounding tip that the location being searched was on Highway 129, past Bowen's Mill grocery. I got another tip or two Tuesday that suggested the same area, but I was told more specifically, that the orchard was past the Georgia Department of Natural Resources forestry station with its looming tower to watch for forest fires.

The reporter, the non-beautiful one, said he had heard the same thing.

As I hustled to my car, I might have thought, but didn't, about how the location in Ben Hill County certified some speculation I made previously. At the previous week's press conference, the district attorney from the Cordele Judicial Circuit, which covers Ben Hill County, was in attendance, despite no obvious connection to Irwin County, where the press conference was held. Furthermore, the Ben Hill sheriff and other law enforcement officers from the county were in attendance.

I might have thought about how the search site being in Ben Hill confirmed my suspicions about their presence, but I didn't. Not at that time.

I was more concerned with getting my buttons ordered correctly on my wool blanket of a shirt. Of course, I was in a hurry so I ended up not buttoning the top buttons. I later saw myself in a mirror and I looked like a disco dancer or someone who owns a night club that isn't as high class as he thinks it is.

But the primary problem with the shirt continued to be its ability to hold in heat. Even though I did not know the exact location, it was a good 15 minutes at least, I'd say, to the site. The day was growing hotter, and so was I, so hot that I felt inclined to roll down the window.

I've written recently about my car's various problems, but recently it was very, very sick. The engine seemed to lose all its power, and I thought that was due to it leaking exhaust out the engine, because rolling the window down left me choking on gas fumes. I finally got the engine fixed, its power restored, but then the first time I rolled down the window driving, I learned that the engine still belches exhaust fumes.

This was OK since it was winter, and I didn't need to roll down the window. But on this hottest day of the year, in a thermos-like shirt, I decidedly did want to roll down the window. Sweating and irritated, I could only stand the fumes so long before I feared carbon monoxide poisoning.

For some reason, I never use a vehicle's air conditioning, I guess to save gas, which is ironic, because when I could take the heat no more and finally turned on the AC, guess what I got? More gas fumes even than if I had rolled down both windows.

I guess all the air comes from the same place.

Still, I drove, and in the distance, I spotted a few news vans on the side of the road, and I looked to my right to see a panorama of pecan trees. This was the place. It had to be.

Except, no one could say for sure. Looking past the no trespassing signs and the gate at the entrance, all that could be seen were pecan trees, hundreds or thousands of them, and no law enforcement officers were in sight.

The no trespassing notices were signed by the owner, Randy Hudson. I've known Mr. Randy most of my life, and I'm sure the GBI was right when they said he had nothing to do with Tara's disappearance.

The property is large, I heard it was 150 acres, and anyone determined enough could easily get onto the property if they wanted to dispose of a body. They wouldn't necessarily need keys. There aren't really fences, just a gate, and who knows if that was even there in 2005.

The orchard is only a few miles north of where a pond was searched as part of Tara's case in 2015, but the GBI has not indicated a connection, and if I were to guess, I'd say there isn't one, but that's mostly just a hunch.

Other than the news crews, there was a man there in a pickup truck and I stopped to talk to him. I asked if he was guarding the property, and he said he wasn't. He said he was an adjoining property owner whose wife was bothered by a news helicopter flying overhead. He was there to tell someone from the chopper's news station to leave them alone.

"It wasn't me," I said. "I'm from Ocilla."

Interestingly, he said the GBI spoke to him and he signed off on allowing them to search his property, but he said he had not seen anyone searching the Hudson property, and he had not seen any vehicles coming or going.

I walked along the road snapping photos all the way to the apparent end of the property, maybe 150 yards down the highway. I must have taken hundreds of photos. Hundreds of non-existent photos. Because when I tried to review them I got a damnable message.

"No card in camera."

So, aggravated beyond reason, I walked back the 150 yards to the entrance, then another 50 yards in the hot sun to my car, hopped in and prepared to drive to Ocilla to retrieve my camera's memory card. The interior smelled like gas fumes.

I'm fat, too, you know, so I get hot easily, especially after spanning a few football fields under a global warming sun. I figured I would stop at a restaurant and go inside for a refreshing blast of indoor air conditioning. Of course, I got caught at the train in Fitzgerald. I sat in the sun, with no air conditioning, as the train slowed to a stop at the city's station.

Finally, I arrived at The Ocilla Star office and explained the events of the day. After that explanation, I was asked why I came in that day. Since an arrest was made in Tara's case, I came in every day, even when the GBI didn't reveal what could be the last announcement in the case before trial.

You see, I learned at the office that a judge issued a gag order in this case. According to what I read, this affects law enforcement officers, court personnel, and potential witnesses. Potential witnesses? In this case, that could be anybody, but I'm going to keep writing until someone tells me specifically I have to stop, and then I'm going to say "How the hell am I supposed to do my job?"

It's not the first time I've worried this case would land me in jail, although now the concern is a bit more serious.

Apparently, Ryan Duke has a defense attorney now, because I read the gag order was requested by his lawyer.

Also while at the office, I watched a WALB video of the GBI briefing I missed, although it appeared their reporter was late, too, though not as late as me, since only part of the briefing was not recorded. I couldn't find a more extensive video of the event.

Special Agent in Charge JT Ricketson said that the GBI looked on the property the previous week working on some very general information, and 16 agents were out there investigating then. He said that one of two GBI Body Recovery teams, the South team, was activated to search the orchard. Forty-one agents from eight GBI offices were searching Tuesday.

"We're finding evidence that we are collecting that will be analyzed by the anthropologists and by our crime lab," he said, which I think some people are interpreting to mean that they have found conclusive evidence that Tara was there, which is possible. But I think he was saying they have found things that they are analyzing as potential evidence.

A reporter for WSB-TV said that two anthropologists were also on the scene to examine the findings. I wonder if those are forensic anthropologists as featured on the TV show "Bones." Forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs, the author of the novels on which "Bones" is based, has served as an expert on and has given commentary on television shows about the Tara Grinstead case.

"As long as we're finding evidence, we're staying there," Ricketson said.

He said he was not sure the area was Tara's resting place, but he said they were hopeful they would find the remains. He called it "a possible site that she may have been disposed of."

Ricketson would not comment on whether murder suspect Ryan Duke led the GBI to the location.

Answering questions about Duke, Ricketson said his name had not come up before, but some of his associates had come up. He said the GBI is looking through hundreds of interviews over more than 11 years. He said Duke would have to be asked how the murder was kept secret for so long.

"He has not shared that," Ricketson said.

At the office, I also looked up the pecan orchard on Google maps. The satellite image of the area was obviously taken in the fall or winter, as the trees were barren in the image. As the property surrounding is made of evergreen pine trees, the orchard looked eerily desolate.

The orchard is oddly shaped, with a gigantic mass along the highway but a smaller but still large section deeper in the woods and slightly to the southeast. There is a pond in this southeast section, and near it a copse of apparent pine trees in the middle of dozens of pecan trees. There appears to even be a building or two tucked into a corner of the orchard somewhat near the pond and pines.

I wasn't going to go back. I was going to wait till the next day to get the photos I missed before. But I felt an obligation to you, those of your reading this, to give you everything I can give.

So I went back. I'm glad I did.

But before I get there, in this story, a dark and peculiar thought passed through my head as I drove from Ocilla to Fitzgerald to parts further north. Imagine the anxiety and fear, the incredible sense of dread that must have pumped through the heart of the person who drove that distance with a body in their vehicle. Because that is the story we are being told.

Ryan Duke is alleged to have killed Tara in her home and then concealed her death by moving her body from her home. I've put a lot of thought into this case, and I was doubtful that she was killed in her home because of the enormous risk of driving with someone's body inside the vehicle. But if the GBI's allegations are true, it's not the first thing I was wrong about.

If this pecan orchard is where the killer went to dispose of her body that must have been a long and terrifying drive for the killer, whether that was Duke or someone else.

I hope it was.

My ordeal driving was thankfully not as bad as it cooled down some closer to dusk. When I arrived, the same reporters from before lingered outside the gate.

"This is the right spot," another beautiful reporter, Amanda Hoskins of WALB, said. At least I think it was her.

The reporters told me that dozens, maybe as many as 40 vehicles, left through the front gate. I later saw video that included multiple GBI crime scene vans. The volume of traffic left clear tracks in the earth damp from the previous day's rain.

The tracks pointed toward the southeast, possibly toward the pond and the grove of pine trees in the midst of the pecan orchard. I later saw aerial shots from WSB-TV of Atlanta and they showed the agents working in an area feathered with pine trees. The area showed evidence of digging, dirty tarpaulins draped over the ground, and teams of agents sifting through soil like miners panning for gold.

Then, as I stood there, I saw lights coming from deep in the orchard, from the southeast. A black SUV pulled to the gate and the drive exited. I was surprised to recognize him, GBI Special Agent Jason Shoudel, case agent in charge of Tara's case. I waved, and he waved back, although he might not like me after some of my recent writings.

Behind him, a familiar white car pulled up and through the gate. It was driven by Ocilla Police Chief Billy Hancock. Any possible doubt that I had found the search location was gone.

The Chief waved at me, rolled down his window, and asked if I needed a ride back to my car, which was again a football field away down the highway.

I said, "Yeah," and he half pulled off the road but still butted into the highway enough to block traffic. Three cars were coming swiftly from the distance. Chief Hancock said, "Hurry and get in quick," and thus the most exciting 8 seconds of an exciting week happened when I rushed around the front of his car, opened the door, threw all 250 pounds of me in the passenger seat, watching not to hit my knees, and awkwardly slammed the door just as he pulled out of the way of the oncoming cars.

Then, as Chief Hancock is one of the nicest guys I know, he followed me home, because he, like you, has read about my car's notorious problems.

So, we know where they are searching for Tara, where they believe she may be, but we may not know even if they find her remains because of this gag order. As a journalist, I find it especially troubling, but I have plenty of other things to write about for now. I wonder how the gag order will affect "Up and Vanished," the podcast about Tara's disappearance.

Dr. Maurice Godwin, a forensic investigator and integral part of "Up and Vanished," asked me for a copy of the March 1 Ocilla Star, as it featured an interview with him. He said it would be his final interview, since he is going to honor the gag order as a potential expert witness. That will definitely leave a void on "Up and Vanished."

The defense attorney apparently asked for the gag order to ensure his client's right to a fair trail, but a lot of people are losing their right to freedom of speech. It's a worrisome situation.

I have plenty more I would like to write about this case, and some notes I have already collected, including information I had never heard about a second latex glove found in Tara's neighborhood back in 2005. I hope nothing stands in the way of me writing about it and you reading.

We learned a lot today about the mystery of Tara Grinstead's disappearance. But I can't help but wonder if, until there is a trial or a guilty plea, will these be the last answers we get about what happened to her?

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Arrest Warrants Provide Clues but Leave Questions

Arrest Warrants Provide Clues but Leave Questions

  9:49 PM    Unknown

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(NOTE: This article was written for publication in The Ocilla Star, but since I wrongly speculated about the charges in my previous blog post, as I had not yet read the warrants, I thought this needed to be posted here as well. This and plenty more about the Tara Grinstead case will be included in the March 1 edition of The Ocilla Star. Those of you out of the area can read online editions at theocillastar.com)

The charges against Ryan Alexander Duke present at least some clues into what is alleged to have happened during the murder of Tara Grinstead.

When the Georgia Bureau of Investigation held its press conference Thursday, Special Agent in Charge JT Ricketson gave very few details beyond announcing that Duke was charged with Grinstead’s murder.

A bond hearing for Duke was held later, and four criminal charges were announced against him through arrest warrants sworn by GBI Special Agent Jason Shoudel. The charges were murder, burglary, aggravated assault and concealing death.

The GBI has remained very tight-lipped about the details of the murder as it continues its investigation, but the arrest warrants themselves shine some light on the circumstances.

An Irwin County Grand Jury will decide April 12 whether to indict Duke on the charges.

Background: Grinstead’s last known location was a barbecue on the night of Saturday, Oct. 22, 2005 at the home of Troy Davis, who was the former Irwin County school superintendent. Davis was interviewed in a recent episode of the “Up and Vanished” podcast and said he walked her out of his home about 11:15 p.m. Davis said she told him she was going home to put on her pajamas and watch a video of the Miss Georgia Sweet Potato pageant. Earlier, Grinstead helped contestants prepare for the pageant and she also attended the event.

After Grinstead left the barbecue at the Davis home, she was never seen publicly again. All of the Duke arrest warrants indicate crimes alleged to have been committed on Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005, so some time after midnight, at Grinstead’s small home on West Park Street in Ocilla.

Burglary: Duke was charged with burglary Thursday, and although people may typically think of burglary as a crime in which someone breaks-in to a home or a vehicle to steal things, burglary can also apply when someone breaks-in with intent to commit a felony other than theft. The burglary arrest warrant indicates theft was not the motive for the burglary Duke is alleged to have committed.

The warrant states that Duke “knowingly, intentionally and willfully” entered Grinstead’s home without authority to commit aggravated assault and murder. This suggests that speculation about a “burglary gone wrong” where a perpetrator entered the home to rob it, encountered the occupant and killed her is incorrect. The warrant indicates an intention to commit murder and aggravated assault, not robbery or theft.

Murder: Duke was charged with murder under Georgia Code Section 16-5-1, which is a crime that can be punished with the death penalty or life in prison, making it probably the most serious charge in Georgia law.

Unlike some other states, Georgia does not have degrees of murder. So-called “crimes of passion” where sudden anger leads to an unplanned death sometimes result in the serious but lesser charge of manslaughter.

But Georgia actually has two different types of murder charge under 16-5-1, and the two types are typically known as malice murder and felony murder. Sometimes, accused offenders are charged with both.

Malice murder is applied when someone is alleged to have caused the death of another person with “malice aforethought.” Malice murder often includes premeditated murder, in which someone planned to commit the crime ahead of time.

Felony murder is a murder charge that is applied when someone causes the death of another person during the commission of another felony. For instance, someone might rob a bank, run over someone while fleeing the robbery and be charged with felony murder, even though they did not plan to kill the pedestrian with “malice aforethought.”

The murder warrant does not directly spell out whether malice murder or felony murder is accused against Duke, but the text of warrant may be suggestive. The warrant states that Duke committed murder “when he did knowingly, intentionally, and willfully during the commission of a felony, that being burglary, caused the death of Tara Grinstead.”

No mention is made of “malice aforethought” in the warrant, which along with the inclusion of burglary in the text, suggests Duke may be charged with felony murder.

However, if the charge is not malice murder, it seems to suggest a logical conundrum, as the murder charge relies on the alleged burglary, but the burglary charge partly relies on the alleged murder. If Duke broke-in to Grinstead’s home to commit murder, as the burglary warrant indicates, that would suggest he planned to commit murder, which would seem to necessarily include malice aforethought, yet malice is not claimed in the murder warrant.

Aggravated Assault: Aggravated assault is a charge which includes when someone tries to assault someone with intent to murder, rape or rob them. It also includes attempts to use a deadly weapon or other objects to cause serious bodily injury or strangulation.

The aggravated assault warrant alleges that Duke “used his hands in an offensive manner, and with the intent to, and did, cause serious bodily harm to the person of Tara Grinstead.”

Although the aggravated assault charge can include acts that involve weapons, there was no mention of a weapon in the arrest warrant. Only hands were mentioned as alleged instruments of harm.

Concealing Death: Duke was charged with concealing death, which is a felony offense like the other charges he faces. The concealing death warrant states that Duke willfully removed “the deceased body of Tara Grinstead” from her home “with the intent to conceal her death and discovery.”

If the allegations are true, this charge is the reason Grinstead’s case was, for more than 11 years, a missing persons case rather than a murder case.

Where her body was taken is still not publicly known.

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A Thousand New Questions

A Thousand New Questions

  4:50 AM    Unknown

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(NOTE: For those who have read this blog entry previously, the theory I presented about the burglary charge against Ryan Duke is apparently wrong. I had speculated that the burglary may have happened after Tara Grinstead's murder, but the warrants for Ryan Duke's arrest allege that Duke entered the home to commit murder and aggravated assault).

The busiest day of my professional career was followed by another busy day on only two hours of sleep, but this time, the feverish frenzy of Thursday, February 23, 2017 was replaced by a more subdued day in Ocilla. If not for the presence of a few television network vans and camera crews, Friday, February 24 could have been mistaken for any other day in Ocilla, at least on the surface.

But social media and private conversations belied the truth. Our community and much of America was still abuzz with news, rumor and speculation. Ocilla had changed because an answer to the town's biggest question had seeded a thousand new questions in its wake.

To recap, on the previous day, Ryan Alexander Duke was charged with murder and other crimes in relation to the October 2005 disappearance of beloved teacher and former beauty queen Tara Grinstead.

As someone who investigated and reported on Tara's disappearance since the first week, I was befuddled to learn that someone of whom I had never heard was charged with Tara's murder. I almost felt like the investigation was starting over from zero.

And truly after years of speculation and potential leads discussed in the public and in the media, almost none of the many topics and names associated with the case seemed to be connected at all.

Since it seems clear from the charges that Tara's murder at least allegedly happened at her home in Ocilla, certain clues have gained added weight, at least in the realm of hypothesis. Certainly, the latex glove found in her front yard has always seemed ominous and seemed no less so after Duke's arrest.

Could the killer or an accomplice have worn the glove, and have matches been found to the DNA and fingerprint found in the glove? Could the broken lamp in her bedroom have been broken during a struggle on October 23, 2005? Could the beads on the floor and the broken clasps found by Dr. Maurice Godwin be further signs of a struggle?

These are questions asked before, but they gained added heft after more became known about the alleged facts of Tara's death.

(Note: Please read this section with caution. I later learned the theory I presented was incorrect. See the second note below).

One particular aspect of the facts of her death that seems to be generating much discussion is the burglary charge against Duke. People hear the word "burglary" and they might imagine a person prying a window open, sneaking inside a home and filling a sack full of stolen jewels. As someone who sees dozens of police incident reports every week, I can assure you most burglaries are committed by someone with the intention of robbing a home of its valuables. People hear Duke was charged with burglary and many assume Tara was killed in a "burglary gone wrong," which begs the question does a burglary ever truly go right?

Regardless, although most burglaries are perpetrated for the purpose of stealing, this is not the only type of burglary, at least in Georgia law.

According to the law, "A person commits the offense of burglary in the first degree when, without authority and with the intent to commit a felony or theft therein, he or she enters or remains within an occupied, unoccupied, or vacant dwelling house of another or any building, vehicle, railroad car, watercraft, aircraft, or other such structure designed for use as the dwelling of another."

Often in police reports, someone will break-in to a home, but they won't be charged with burglary. They will be instead be charged with the lesser charge of criminal trespass. The difference is that someone who commits criminal trespass does not illegally enter a place "with the intent to commit a felony or theft therein."
Essentially, you commit burglary if you illegally enter a place with intent to commit a crime other than the crime of breaking and entering, but that intended crime does not have to be theft. It can be any felony.

Because the arrest warrant on the burglary charge does not specify what theft or felony Duke is alleged to have intended, we can only speculate, but it does not necessarily mean that he broke-in with the goal of robbing her. He might not have "broke in" at all.

He could have broke in to assault her. He could have broke in to murder her. He could have been invited inside but refused to leave because he wanted to assault or kill her.

With all the rumors flying around, I've never heard an even remotely believable motive for Tara's murder, which is a question unto itself. Without investigation details that might not come out until a trial or after a plea, we may not know anything about a motive, but logic provides us some room for exploration.
It's frankly hard to imagine that Tara's very tiny home was the target of a random burglary with the intent of robbing her of valuables. There are larger, nicer homes in the area.

If she was targeted for sexual assault, and that was the intended crime of the burglary charge, it would seem likely that Duke would have been charged with some kind of sexual offense. He wasn't.

If he broke in to murder her, such as if he was some sociopathic burgeoning serial killer, why did he seem so broken at his bond hearing? Duke may be many things, but at least during that one glimpse of the man, he did not appear to be remorseless.

None of my speculation is in any way conclusive, but an idea I had sounds at least plausible. We know the murder and the burglary are alleged to have happened on the same date, October 23, 2005, but what if they did not happen at the same time. What if the murder happened before the burglary?

If Tara originally allowed Duke inside of her home that night, he might have killed her while he was otherwise lawfully inside. Then, he may have left, possibly to get latex gloves or an accomplice or for any number of reasons, and then he could have come back to move her body. Duke was charged with concealing a death, which could be the felony he is alleged to have intended which led to the burglary charge. If Tara was already dead when he returned, she could not have granted lawful authority for him to enter the house.

Time will tell if that is what happened.

(NOTE: I later had time to read Duke's arrest warrants and the warrants clearly indicate the intended crimes that led to the burglary charge were murder and aggravated assault, so my theory was wrong. However, there are some questions raised by the charges in the arrest warrants as well, so expect more to be written about them soon.)

I spent most of the morning of February 24 trying to find out conclusively if a search was being conducted for Tara's remains somewhere in South Georgia. On Thursday, I heard rampant rumors about Wilcox County, two counties away from Irwin County, but Ben Hill County, the county between Irwin and Wilcox, was the place I heard more resonantly on Friday morning. Of course, the specific area I was told by multiple sources may have overlapped between Ben Hill and Wilcox counties.

It was all just rumors, really, but there were reasons to suspect some truth to the rumors. Ocilla and Irwin County, which we know are alleged to be the location of Tara's murder, are part of the Tifton Judicial Circuit. Thursday, the Cordele Judicial Circuit District Attorney not only spoke at the press conference, he also sat in with the local assistant district attorney during Duke's bond hearing.

The Cordele Judicial Circuit has nothing to do with Ocilla and Irwin County, but if a body was moved to one of the counties in that circuit, a crime would have been committed there, and thus, the district attorney of that circuit would become involved. The Cordele Judicial Circuit includes both Ben Hill and Wilcox counties.
Ben Hill County may be further indicated by the presence of Ben Hill County Sheriff Lee Cone and some of his deputies at the press conference Thursday. While this might be explained because the Ben Hill Sheriff's Office was involved in search efforts for Tara through the years or even as extra security manpower for the conference, the presence of both the sheriff and the DA suggests some deeper connection to the case.

I called the clerks of court offices in both Wilcox and Ben Hill counties, but I could not find a search warrant. I wondered if the Georgia Bureau of Investigation might have used a federal judge or some other out-of-district judge to obtain a search warrant to avoid letting the press find it. A law enforcement officer told me I probably was one of dozens of media folks who were trying to find a search warrant, but they said the LEOs know all our tricks.

I heard members of a film crew later saying that their producers had somehow been denied the search warrant, but even though I asked, I couldn't learn much details. But I got the impression a search warrant existed, but the network could not obtain a copy. The producers even warned the film crew's reporter that she might be charged with trespassing if she tried to film at the location.

That, along with the overwhelming rumors, surely sounds like there is a search somewhere, but I never was able to conclusively find proof.

One of my closest friends lives near the area about which I keep hearing, so I had considered spending Saturday driving backroads with him looking for police tape or GBI vehicles, but I'm not sure I will. I want to prove there is a search because I want Tara to be found, and I want people to know that the law enforcement officers have an idea where her remains must be. It's great news that an arrest was made, but until we know Tara herself has been found, this is still a missing person case in many ways.

I want Wednesday's Ocilla Star headline to read "Tara Grinstead Found," and I think that would be a truly cathartic revelation for my community. The arrest is, at best, half the mystery solved, but the questions remaining leave many mysteries looming large.

Still, even if I found out with 100 percent proof that there is a search, if I found the address with yellow tape stretched from tree to tree, I don't think I would reveal the location. I don't always agree with the secrecy of law enforcement, but I want to see this case solved and don't want to do anything to jeopardize it. If everyone knew the location, Looky Lous and curious thrill-seekers might sneak onto the property and conduct their own searches. If a large property is being searched, it may be logistically impossible for the GBI to control the perimeter through any measure except secrecy.

I spent most of the afternoon interviewing law enforcement officers, running out of paper in my notebook along the way, and also talking with people who might point me toward more of the puzzling past of Ryan Duke. I got some good quotes and interesting leads, but I didn't learn anything that moved the earth.

Late Friday afternoon, Ocilla and I seemed to be winding down after a strange but eventful week. I just wanted to relax, eat some pizza with friends and sleep a long, long time. But Payne Lindsey of the Up and Vanished podcast and his manager Donald, both of whom I like and have helped and shared information with me, asked for me to appear with Payne on ABC's Niteline. After a bad experience years ago on the Nancy Grace program, I really, really did not want to do it, so I refused, but after some gentle begging I caved and said I would let them interview me.

So for 2 to 3 hours, a crew set up equipment in The Ocilla Star office, and finally, I sat down for my 15 to 20 minute interview. Compared to my performance on Nancy Grace and even though I told the reporter "I apologize that I have a face for radio and a voice for books," I thought I did well. I even got a little choked up talking about some of the more emotional aspects of the case, which absolutely surprised me.

But when Niteline aired, they didn't use any of my interview. I was shown for less than 10 seconds, and they mispronounced my name. I hope I never do television again.

I like the print media, which given that I'm using a blog now, perhaps I should say written media. With written words, we present a more in-depth, definitive view of a story.

Not that I'm finding as much definitive information as I'd like about Tara's case.
Still, through my many discussions, I've been told a few things off the record, which I can't print or say, and which puts me in an odd situation in this case especially. Someone might tell me something off the record, which I appreciate because it points me in the right direction, lets me ask the right questions, and frankly, satisfies my personal curiosity. But it also puts me in a situation where I might be told something off the record that I either already strongly suspected or have confirmed through other sources, so then I'm worried about saying what I know by other means because my off-the-record source might think I'm betraying their trust.

And then, by the end of more than 36 hours of non-stop discussion and investigation about this case on only one meal and two hours of sleep, I was so tired and hungry I barely knew what I was saying anymore.

I'll tell you what I definitely haven't been told, and that is an answer to probably the two most burning questions in everyone's minds. I have not been told anyone else was charged in relation to Tara's death. And I have not been told a body was found.

So, for now, the mystery continues.

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The Day Ocilla Stood Still

The Day Ocilla Stood Still

  7:53 AM    Unknown

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This was something I wrote to settle myself down after the crazy events of February 23, 2017. The result was an article that was part opinion piece, part report and part narrative story. It's essentially a piece of gonzo journalism about the events of that day. I apologize for the irreverent style, but this was just my attempt to record the events of that strange day for myself. My reports in The Ocilla Star newspaper will be much different.

I woke up that Thursday morning, February 23, 2017, with my arm thrown halfway off my bed and some sort of critter biting my knuckle. I crushed it, hoping it wasn't a flea because I recently let a friend bring a dog that wasn't supposed to have fleas in my house, yet I watched it biting at fleas the whole time. It was 9:30 a.m. Figuring I had a late day due to a ribbon cutting in the afternoon, I went back to sleep.

At about 11 a.m. my phone rang, dashing my dreams of sleep. I towed myself out of bed and answered. It was one of my best friends, Eric, whom I regrettably had neglected in recent months. He wouldn't be the last long-lost friend who decided to call me that day.

He told me there was a press conference about Tara Grinstead scheduled for 3 p.m. at the Irwin County Courthouse. I was interested, of course, but after 11 years of dead ends, rabbit holes and false alarms, I wasn't overwhelmed with confidence that the case would be resolved. Then, a police officer beeped in while I was talking to Eric.

The police officer said for me to wear my very best clothes to the courthouse at 2:45 p.m. (For the record, I wore the best clean clothes I had available, blue jeans and a burgundy button-up, untucked). The officer passed the phone to another officer who proudly proclaimed that the conference would include "very good news." My interest level increased quickly past the point of excitement.

As I feverishly showered, tooth brushed and deodorized myself, I considered what the "good news" could mean. I thought it must mean that there must at least be an arrest in the case, perhaps even Tara was found. I even entertained the idea that she might be alive, and that brought a sheer amount of joy to my heart that surprised me. I could think of no one I would rather be able to interview, not because I'm a journalist, but because it would mean she was alive.

My car has a belt that squeals so loudly I'm probably considered a public menace in my hometown of Irwinville, which was 10 or so miles from Ocilla, the Irwin County Courthouse, and the 3 p.m. press conference. My car also recently developed a tic where random lights come to life on the dashboard. It's so unreliable that I went to my mom's to borrow her car, because I was hell-bent on getting to Ocilla that day.

But my mom wasn't home, so I called work, The Ocilla Star newspaper, and told Miss Beverly, our advertising executive, that if I didn't make it to Ocilla in 30 minutes, to come find me where I broke down. If I had crashed or passed out, she better have found some way to resuscitate me.

This is all 100 percent true, but I made it to Ocilla without the need of a rescue.

As a former Boy Scout, I know about being prepared, when I want to be. So I was desperate to have every base thoroughly manned for this press conference. At home, I deleted all the songs off an MP3 player that has a record feature. I found a microphone that had a long cord covered in cob webs and Dr. Pepper spatter. I grabbed a pair of head phones for reasons I cannot fathom. At work, I read in the user manual how to take videos with the camera I got for Christmas. Still not done, I went to City Hall and borrowed the city's audio recorder it uses to record meetings under the thin pretense that the press conference was an event the City of Ocilla would want recorded for posterity.

At work, the phone rang incessantly with curious friends and those genuinely thoughtful people who wanted to make sure the local paper covered the press conference, because even though those police officers said I was the only one to receive a personal invitation, plenty of media got an impersonal invitation because Facebook was clogged with announcements about the press conference from news agencies across the state.

My friend, Payne Lindsey, host and creator of the Up and Vanished podcast about the Tara Grinstead investigation, arrived at The Ocilla Star office winded and wild eyed. We had both heard the name circulating around town and social media, and it was a name neither of us had heard before the day began. This was someone out of left field, or as GBI Special Agent in Charge J.T. Ricketson said later, someone not on our radar.

I'll skip ahead.

At 3 p.m., Ricketson announced the worst kept secret in Georgia, that Ryan Alexander Duke was charged with murder in the death, no longer disappearance, of Tara Grinstead. The announcement was a relief, to actually hear that an arrest was made, satisfying a sense of justice, but the announcement also brought a heart-breaking finality to those lingering hopes that Tara would be found alive and well some day. Though I didn't know her myself, I saw that silly dream I had of interviewing her one day disappear, and I felt aching condolence when I embraced one of her closest friends on the courtroom floor.

Even though the law enforcement officers seemed to announce "We got our guy," the announcement also felt, in a way, hollow, because for hours many of us had heard the rampant rumors about what would be announced. We heard there were multiple arrests. We heard remains were found. We heard these rumors, but the Georgia Bureau of Investigations would not confirm them.

But the GBI didn't deny them either, which just made those questions more resonant in the minds of those of us who wanted answers.

My most pointed unanswered questions were about a scenario I learned about before the press conference began, from a phone call I received earlier while still at the office, so let's return to that time period. Someone called to talk about the then upcoming press conference. I said, "It's crazy because it's someone that's never been on anyone's radar," which the GBI later said, too.

But this person, a reliable source, said that wasn't entirely true. He said that shortly after Tara disappeared in 2005 there was talk about Ryan Duke killing Tara, but I'm going to hold onto the details for now until I can verify them. This was all based on second-hand or even third-hand knowledge, but I was told this story hours before the press conference officially revealed Duke as the arrested murder suspect. And the information jibed with other rumors rippling through town, including names of people and descriptions of locations.

Later in the night, Payne recorded an on-the-record interview with someone making some very similar claims to those made by my source. I am sure Payne will play all or most of the recording on Up and Vanished.

But my source also told me that a specific person heard about these allegations against Duke at the time, presumably in 2005, and this specific person reported the information to law enforcement. Later, I saw this specific person and asked if it was true. He said "No comment."

Of course, none of these rumors are confirmed to be true. We've spent 11 years talking about rumors and speculation which contained very little truth if any, but if I had been taking notes when I talked to my source or if I had conducted the interview Payne did later, I would feel comfortable printing the story both sources portrayed, although their claims would be attributed. Because if they knew of this story before Duke was announced as the murder suspect, and at least my source absolutely did know before the announcement, then that means Duke was not totally off the radar. It means that some people suspected Duke's involvement some time ago, probably years ago, possibly a decade or more.

Backtracking to earlier, I arrived at the courthouse at 2:30 p.m., thinking I would manage to get there early and get a good seat. I hadn't anticipated that every media outlet east of the Mississippi would descend on Ocilla. The array of video cameras slammed together in the front of the courthouse seats reminded me of an invasion of spidery robots.

And the people! Just this month, I've attended meetings in that courtroom full of angry people opposing tax-cutting measures by the county and another meeting of angry people opposing closing voting precincts. Neither so fully filled that courtroom's first floor, and I had forgotten the courtroom even had a balcony, but I heard some folks were worried it might collapse, although they may have been jesting.

It was loud and boisterous as people discussed the upcoming announcement, but the room turned library quiet when the press conference started. I imagined the other half of the community outside the courtroom glued to their computer screens and smart phones, watching live streams of the event. It was as if Ocilla stood still.

When the press conference was over, I told County Chairman Joey Whitley, "If you have any bad news about the county, this is the week to share it. Nobody will notice."

I conducted some interesting interviews. I could feel the relief pouring from former Special Agent in Charge Gary Rothwell, who was especially happy that those people tried in the capricious court of public opinion were finally exonerated in the public's eye. At least, most of the public's eye. One person told me that the GBI was wrong and she knew who really did it, because God told her so. Anything is possible I suppose, but I think I'll believe the GBI's conclusions for now.

And to be honest, I think I share Rothwell's sentiment. Although it must have been a truly awful 11 years for Tara's family and friends to suffer without any answers, it must have been something even more traumatizing for people like Marcus Harper, Heath Dykes, and some others, people who also cared about Tara, but who were unfairly judged and condemned by so many, especially in public forums. What relief they will feel to be able to walk about their hometowns without the accusing looks and whispers. Hooray for them to finally have some peace!

And to some degree, I feel exonerated myself, since I was one of the 200 or so people whose DNA was tested in this case, even though I never met Tara.

I was told to wait at the courthouse until 4:30 p.m. because Duke would be presented for a bond hearing. More than half of the news crews either didn't know or just didn't stay for the event, but that still left more than 10 cameras in the courtroom. Those who didn't stay missed out on a far more informative event.

While the press conference only revealed that Duke was charged with murder and provided almost no details about the crime, the bond hearing listed four charges and the basic details of those offenses. He was charged with burglary, aggravated assault, concealing a death, and murder.

This is the picture those charges and their details paint, along with known details about her disappearance: We knew Tara left a barbecue at the school superintendent's house at about 11 p.m. Oct. 22, 2005, and that was the last she known to have been seen alive. Some time after midnight on Sunday, Oct. 23, and I would guess probably some time in the early morning, Duke is alleged to have entered Tara's home against her will with the intent of committing a felony, which could mean he intended to rob the house or do harm to its occupant. Tara was killed due to some aggressive action using the hands, such as strangulation or beating, and Duke is alleged to be the culprit. Then, Duke is alleged to have moved Tara's body from her home.

Even though those details leave out important aspects such as motive, mode of entering her home, and whether accomplices were involved, if true, these details tell us far more than we've ever really known about Tara Grinstead's disappearance because this is the first time we actually know something was definitely part of the crime.

Sometimes you learn more by what isn't said than what is, too. The district attorney for the Cordele Judicial Circuit not only was at the press conference, he spoke at it, and he sat in with the local assistant district attorney during the bond hearing. This strongly suggests to me that some charges against someone are forthcoming from the Cordele Circuit, which includes Ben Hill, Crisp, Dooly and Wilcox counties. Of course, I heard rumors about Wilcox County all day long, and I'm determined to get to the bottom of it.

There are still miles of unanswered questions, but as of right now, we don't know if oft discussed clues like the latex glove or the black truck had anything to do with the case at all. What we, the public, know is very little now, because Ryan Duke was not someone picked apart by the media and public opinion. It's almost like starting over at the beginning, but now those of us who want to know what happened are not wandering blind and dumbly pointing fingers.

I spent most of the night talking with Payne and his friend Donald about the case, tracking down leads and discussing implications. I got plenty of phone calls from long-lost friends, a former girlfriend, and even my brother, who lives in South Carolina and had not called me in months. One friend, a fan of the podcast, even sort of accidentally broke into The Ocilla Star office, but it was my fault for not shutting the door well. It was a bit of a tense moment though, when I returned and found the back door wide open.

All of these friends wanted to know what I've learned. They wanted the scoop.

So this is it.

That's not entirely true, of course. There are rumors like the ones I discussed earlier and details about them, but I'm mostly holding back until I can get more verification. As I've said, we've been dealing with tons of untrue rumors for 11 years now. I'm trying to vet all these rumors and make them facts, but that may be an impossible task.

I will say this though. From what I'm hearing, this case may not end with Ryan Duke. This case may be more complicated than we imagined when people were busy speculating about police cover-ups or secretive love affairs. It could just be as simple as "We got our guy," which was the general feeling I got from the press conference, but the more I hear, the less I think he was the only guy.

Only time will tell. For years, law enforcement officers have said Tara's case was not cold.

It's still not.

I want to make an appeal to anyone reading this who knows more to contact me. If you know something about Ryan Duke, what happened to Tara that night, or anything else you think might be relevant, contact me on Facebook or by emailing ocillastar@windstream.net . Even if you don't want your name used, you might be able to point me in the right direction.

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WHAT THE? HELL?

WHAT THE? HELL?

  9:15 PM    Unknown

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This week, someone said I was going to Hell if I died because I'm not a Christian. Believe it or not, that's not even the worst insult I've faced this week, but it was certainly the most damning. It made me think though, so I did a little research.
People can believe whatever they want, which is one of the freeing aspects of being a non-believer, because many of the faithful, but I find that often people's religious beliefs are a bit skewed. In fact, they are often not based on what they think they are, or the actual teachings of their religion are a bit different than what they believe. Sometimes modern beliefs are based on centuries of traditional teachings, dogma, and sometimes even on pure ignorance.
For instance, the rapture isn't really in the Bible, despite its prevalence in modern Protestant Christian thought. So, I wasn't surprised when I discovered that Hell isn't really either.
Oh sure, if you read the King James version of the Bible or the New International Version, you will find the word "Hell," although not always in the same places, but if you research the original words that "Hell" replaced, you'll discover that these places don't match at all the idea of "Hell" that modern Christians have.
Early Judaism, and thus much or all of the Old Testament, has no concept of Hell. Over the centuries, an Orthodox and mystical tradition of describing "Gehinnom" developed and it could be interpreted as "Hell," but it's not really from the Bible. More on Gehinnom in a moment.
The Christian view of Hell is based primarily on the New Testament, but in the original texts, three different words were used that have since been translated into "Hell," and all three of those words have different meanings. None of those meanings will be recognizable to most modern Christians.
Hades or Sheol: The Greek word "Hades" appears 10 times in the New Testament, and in the King James version, it was translated to "Hell," but really Hades is more similar in meaning to the Hebrew word "Sheol," which is a place of the dead. It is a destination for both the righteous and unrighteous dead, not a fiery place of punishment.
Gehinnom or Gehenna: The Greek word "Gehenna," from the Hebrew "Gehinnom" is used 11 times in the New Testament and is translated to "Hell" in the KJV and NIV. "Gehenna" referred to an actual place on Earth, the Valley of Hinnom, which was a garbage dump outside of Jerusalem. The bodies of those who were thought to have died in sin were tossed there and burned, but it wasn't a metaphysical place of torment. It was just a big burn pile.
Tartarus or Tartaroo: "Tartarus" was used only once in the New Testament, but it was translated to mean "Hell." It comes from the epic poem the Iliad, and is used in II Peter to indicate a place of fallen angels. This particular "Hell" mentions nothing about the afterlife or the souls of humans being sent there as punishment.
Now you may say that there are other references that surely mean the Hell you envision when you close your eyes and wish the person that just pissed you off would go there. And it's true there are mentions of condemnation and punishment and especially in the wacky Book of Revelation, lakes and pits of fire. But none of those are actually described as "Hell" in the Bible.
So, I'm not particularly worried about going there. I don't think you should be either, but I'm sorry if you're bothered or worried by what I wrote.
But if you feel relieved or even if your curiosity is raised a little bit, here's another tidbit of Biblical trivia: The idea of "going to heaven" isn't really in the Bible either...

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Reasons to be bothered by the Muslim Ban

Reasons to be bothered by the Muslim Ban

  3:53 AM    Unknown

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Here are some accurate answers to use when someone asks why you're bothered by the Muslim Ban.
1. If they say it's not about Muslims: During his campaign Trump proposed a temporary ban on Muslims entering the US. Rudy Giuliani told Fox News that Trump contacted him about helping create a "Muslim ban" and asked how to do it legally. A committee was formed and they later decided to drop the religious basis, at least officially. Furthermore, Trump told the Christian Broadcasting Network that Christian refugees would be given priority in terms of refugee status, which is clear in the actual terms of the executive order, which says that minority religions from a region will be given preference. This is a Muslim ban and that is what it was always intended to be.
2. If they say it will allow us to review our vetting techniques: When has anyone actually provided any evidence that our vetting techniques were shoddy or even questionable? When the debate about Syrian refugees was big news last year I learned that the process for refugees to enter the US was very stringent. I can't say for sure about the other ways of entering the US, but the simple fact that Islamic terrorist attacks are very rare compared to the amount of violence in the Middle East suggests that the vetting process is doing a fairly adequate job. Furthermore, we know the real reason for the ban is to ban Muslims, not to improve vetting, so don't buy the propaganda.
3. If they say it's only temporary: It may be only temporary. We don't know. Meanwhile, people are dying. Anne Frank's father tried for months to get a visa to the US but was denied. Would she still be alive if a visa was granted? Whose diary will we read next?
4. If they say it's about safety: No refugee from these countries has ever committed an act of terrorism in America, and none of the four countries of origin of the 9/11 terrorists are on the ban list. Honestly, the entire threat of Islamic terrorism is vastly overblown. There are currently 15,000 or more Muslim doctors in the United States, including several in my very rural part of the world. In the United States, you are probably more likely to be shot by a non-Muslim American and have your life saved by a Muslim doctor than to be harmed by a Muslim terrorist.
5. If they say why do you care about refugees but you don't care about veterans, cancer victims, etc.?: Tell them you would be bothered by laws that would leave veterans or cancer victims in war-torn areas, but no such laws exist, unless you count the Iraqi veterans who assisted our American soldiers in their country who cannot escape the chaos there or the cancer victims who cannot get medical treatment in their home country because the war we started led to their hospitals being bombed by ISIS. Tell them you are trying to fight those laws.
6. If they say you're being hysterical: Say maybe I am. Say maybe I'm losing my mind because I see the country I love stomping on its own heart. Say maybe I'm hysterically angry that people will defend a despicable fascist rather than admit they voted for a tyrant. Tell them you're hysterically upset because you care about the world beyond imaginary borders and you're hysterically scared of what the world is going to look like in four years after Trump and Putin are done, whether they're working together or not.

But you're not hysterical. You just see that Islamic terrorism isn't the biggest threat the world is currently facing.

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