Musings
These are some of the musings I've made in the past few years (actually mostly from the past year):
- "I've always believed in fighting for the rights of minorities, but I never knew that "sensible people" would be a minority whose rights I would need to fight for."
- In response to a blizzard hitting the east coast: "Most of the east coast looks like that scene from Star Wars Episode VIII where Finn slices open the tauntaun on the snow planet."
- "Those who need to learn the most are those who want to learn the least."
- "My life is like a word search puzzle where I look for Happiness and all I find is Pines."
- "If right now the world was as good as it possibly can get Facebook would still be full of complaints."
- In response to the 2015 refugee crisis and Georgia's initial reaction: "Our governor just announced that no one in the state will be allowed to own pets until we can prove that none of them are rabid. He also announced that only people who can prove they are responsible gun owners can own guns... wait, no he didn't."
- "Conservatives are traditionalists, so they tend to be drawn to the prevailing religion of their community and culture. In this country, there are conservatives who choose Christianity for this reason. I call them conservative first. Then there are those who are Christians who are attracted to conservative politics because conservative politicians tend to wrap themselves in the beliefs of the prevailing religion. Here, I call them Christian first. But there are times, many of them actually but rarely as obvious as now, when conservatism is at odds with the beliefs of the prevailing religion, and that is when you see whether someone is a Christian first or a conservative first. So here's the test: If you think that turning away desperate middle eastern people fleeing from horrible circumstances is the Christian thing to do, then congratulations, you are a conservative first."
- "When are people going to stop being offended by people being offended all the time?"
- "Now starting for the Atlanta Braves: No one you've ever heard of."
- "If you hear a politician say he isn't a politician then not only is he a politician but he is actively being a politician as he says it."
- "When someone defeats you, don't make them your enemy; make them your teacher."
- "I love conspiracy theories. They're very entertaining. Unfortunately, they're usually not true. For instance, if the government was as slick as conspiracy theorists seem to think, we would have found WMDs in Iraq."
- "My favorite character on the Walking Dead is the gritty survivor who doesn't talk much."
- "Be careful when you build a wall. The wall you build to keep others out may be the wall that keeps you imprisoned."
- "Sadness is coming home at 11 p.m. and realizing you never ate supper, you're out of food and all the stores are closed. Happiness is realizing, after an hour of hungering, that you have an unopened bag of chips and dip that you forgot about."
- In response to the Trump vs. Fox News war: "On the bright side, at least Trump is turning a lot of people against Fox News. There is hope for the future!"
- "For those of you who oppose political correctness, I'm wondering what it is you would like to say that you feel society is keeping you from saying."
- "Where do all these memes come from? I only see them on Facebook. Are there people who search sites all day for them? How are you ever going to have an original thought if you're treating wisdom as something you can print on a T-shirt?" (while I say things that are about as wise as most memes that could easily be printed on a T-shirt).
- "The term 'class warfare' gets thrown around a lot lately. When you hear it from someone telling you it is bad or speaking of it negatively, know that you are hearing propaganda. If you are telling people we need to avoid class warfare, know that you are spreading propaganda. We are already and always have been in the midst of class warfare. Here's the proof: In America, we aren't supposed to have any classes. But we do. We have aristocrats without titles and paupers who think they are kings. Until there are no classes in America, we are not only in the midst of class warfare, we're losing the battle."
- "Chance of shark attack in the ocean: 0.0000000001 percent. Chance of shark attack on land: 0 percent. It's settled. I'm staying on land."
- "Some people try to pour the ocean into a box. Others let the box float in the ocean."
- Early in the 2015-2016 American presidential race: "I would like to announce my candidacy for the Republican nomination for president of the United States. I figure why not. Everyone else is doing it."
- "I've been without the internet for two days, and it reminded me of when I quit smoking, but instead of the recurring urge to smoke, it was the recurring urge to look up useless trivia on Wikipedia."
- This is my favorite song lyric I've ever written, from the song "Genevieve": "This little pig wants to go home with you, but no, 'cause there won't be a we." (I also like "Umbrellas, this fella, have the shelter you can hold onto" from the same song).
- "This country has a black and white problem, and I'm not talking about skin color. I'm talking about the "you're either with us or against us" mentality. I'm talking about how we handle every issue like we're high schoolers on a debate team, taking a side and only presenting the facts which support our opinions while attacking the other side and ignoring the facts which support it. As an example, America is the country that saved Europe's butt during World War II and also the country that recently killed two innocent hostages in a drone strike. It's a great country in many ways, but it's not perfect. But instead of having rational discussions about how we can improve on our mistakes or even celebrate our victories, we have people waving flags and walking on them. I would love to vote for a candidate who speaks honestly about the benefits and drawbacks of all sides of an issue and then clearly explains why he chose his side. I would vote for him, or her, even if I disagreed. Even if I'm guilty of thinking in black and white too often myself."
- "I was playing an online video game once, and told someone "Your ears must have been burning." They didn't understand, so I said "It must be an American thing." She said "I'm American." I said, "It must be a Southern thing." She said "I'm from the south." I said, "What state?" She said "Texas." I said, "It must be a Georgia thing" because I didn't have the heart to tell her Texas isn't included in the area I consider to be the South."
- "Who else remembers going to presentations in school where they would warn us about Satanic cults and how the devil wanted to steal our souls through heavy metal music? I'm sure a lot of you. Remember when the folks who were in charge (aka parents, school administrators, the media and other adults) apologized to us for being hysterical morons and making us paranoid and terrified about something that was just a run-of-the-mill moral panic? Me neither."
- "Happy Name A Day After Some Obscure Subject Day!"
- In response to Rand Paul accusing a Today Show anchor of editorializing: "Journalists are supposed to ask tough questions. Don't let politicians trick you into being sympathetic toward them when they get questions they don't like."
- "These are the sorts of things I think about: There is an upper limit to how large creatures on Earth on land can be. At least I think I read that somewhere. For instance, a crab the size of the Georgia Dome might collapse under its own weight (but that's just a guess). So, I thought, what if our gravity was weaker than it is, would we have larger creatures. So, what if aliens on a planet with weak gravity visited and were just enormous. Then, I thought about the opposite. What if we were visited by aliens from a planet with very strong gravity and they were all the size of squirrels. They would be small, but proportionally they would probably be much stronger and more hardy than we are. To them, they would be able to leap like we can on the moon. Imagine... hobbits with most of the powers of Spider-Man. We wouldn't stand a chance."
- "The next time you hear someone complaining about President Obama being an America-hating socialist (which he's probably not), tell them this interesting fact: The Pledge of Allegiance was written by a socialist. Seriously. Who could make this up?"
- "You know what's worse than accidentally sending an e-mail to yourself? Replying to it."
- "Those who choose to do nothing, still choose."
- "If someone walks a mile in someone else's shoes, they should avoid the cliffs."
- "You can't accuse someone of being pretentious without being pretentious yourself."
- "Paranoia is the dark side of imagination."
- "I must want to be a teacher of things no one wants to learn."
