Paranoia and Poster or Impostor?

Paranoia and Poster or Impostor?

  5:45 PM    Unknown

---

Photo: Pictured is my front door window and the dangling cloth I use to peek through at guests along with the rusty ax I planned to use to defend myself.

I've said before that paranoia is the dark side of the imagination, so let me tell you about how paranoia took over for this creative person upon arriving home on March 4, 2017.

You see, I had just finished writing in Ocilla about the arrest of Bo Dukes for my blog. Though I started writing on Friday night, various conversations on the subject stretched my writing time well into Saturday morning. By the time I posted the blog, it was past 4:30 a.m.

Being a bit of a paranoid person, I have a cloth that hangs from two nails over my front door window. This way, when someone knocks, I can pull back the cloth to peek at who is outside, assuming it's daylight, because I'm so lazy that I haven't installed a porch light at my house. Ever.

So anyway, as I pulled up to my house in little Irwinville, Georgia I saw that my cloth was dangling by only one nail. Yellow light shone from inside my house through the uncovered window, and paranoia ran through me in an equally yellow fashion.

Had someone been inside my home, looking through my front door window, awaiting the arrival of the cowardly reporter who called the place home?

I thought about any number of people I could have infuriated with my recent writings. And of course, I thought that the most recent subject of my writings had just been released from jail less than 24 hours earlier.

I approached my front door gingerly, gazing through the uncovered window with no little fear in my heart. To me there is nothing more frightening than looking at a window and seeing someone leering at you with a menacing grin, not that this has ever happened in my entire life. Just the thought that it might happen is enough to make me want to cower under my car.

I seriously thought about going to my mom's or just going back to Ocilla, at least until daylight. That's how scared I was. Yet I'll say nearly any damn thing in the newspaper. We're all brave in different ways, I suppose.

One time, years ago, a friend of mine got into a somewhat violent argument with their significant other. I went over to her house just to help her feel safe, though I spent the night with a fire poker in my hand and jumping every time the wind made a limb brush against a window. Here's a piece of advice: Never watch true crime shows when you're prone to paranoia and trying to serve as someone's guardian against domestic violence.

Anyway, this was back when I smoked cigarettes, so more than 3 years ago, but I was outside smoking and noticed a rusty ax sitting by the door. Considering that I did not want the significant other coming back and seeing the ax as a weapon of opportunity, I stashed the ax in my car. For years, I carried it around in my car like some sort of madman, but somehow it wound up on my front porch.

So, seeing this erstwhile stolen ax there at 5 a.m. Saturday morning, fearing someone was inside my home, it became a weapon of opportunity for me.

Not sure whether to choke up on the ax or wield it like a baseball bat, I crept inside. I thought that I must clear the house, like a police officer would, checking each room for possible intruders.

I envisioned going to each room, opening each closet, stooping to look under the bed and peeking around every corner. I imagined the crippling anxiety of each possible encounter, that terrifying moment of truth as I lowered my head to the floor or yanked a door open.

Nuh uh.

So I just sat down and checked Facebook, figuring that if someone sneaked up behind me and killed me, at least I wouldn't have to know about it.

Paranoia may be the dark side of imagination, but my desire to avoid unpleasant situations conquers all.

On a side note, I shouldn't have worried about Bo Dukes, as he seemed to be busy. Maybe.

Someone alerted me that someone claiming to be Dukes was participating in the "Up and Vanished" discussion boards at nearly the moment I checked Facebook. This preoccupied me till about 6:30 a.m. as I was flabbergasted and yet enthralled that someone who was out on bond after being accused of crimes in connection with Tara Grinstead's murder would be participating in a discussion on a web site devoted to Tara's case, if it was Bo Dukes at all.

And I can't absolutely say it was Bo Dukes, although other posters on the UAV web site seemed convinced. The "Bo Dukes" poster used the handle AAA, and other posters said it was the same account that previously used the handle Ocilla123456. Again, I can't verify it, but other posters said Ocilla123456 posted a photo of Bo Dukes with the day's date the previous weekend. I saw the photo at the time, but I don't know who posted it.

AAA, who on March 4 claimed to be Bo Dukes, did not say a lot, and his responses were very short usually. He didn't make many direct comments about the case, as he said he was respecting the gag order, although he also said something about Jim Beam breaking gag orders.

He also didn't say anything that revealed he wasn't Bo Dukes, so maybe he was. But remember, we don't know. He refused to take any photos Saturday morning to verify who he was. We don't know if the poster was an impostor.

Here are the most interesting comments AAA said, with thanks to the poster named mouserat for making screenshots of them:

AAA said he had not seen Ryan Duke, who was is alleged to have committed the murder Dukes is alleged to have helped cover-up, since 2007. He said he moved to Atlanta in 2006, he came back to Ocilla briefly to join the Army, and he saw Duke in '07 before going to Korea.

A poster named opticnerve asked AAA if "When all is said and done, do you think it will make any sense to us?" The answer was "No." AAA also said that none of the theories on the "Up and Vanished" site were accurate, to the best of his knowledge.

mouserat asked, "Do you think we'll ever fully know what happened that night to Tara?"

AAA responded, "If I know the full truth then yes."

AAA said that he did not believe "Up and Vanished" podcast host Payne Lindsey owed him an apology, but he said Payne is not his favorite person. He said some of Payne's interviews were biased and "down-right false."

He said he thought the Georgia Bureau of Investigation did a great job.

"Justice is a finicky thing and subjective," AAA said.

He said he was not afraid for his safety. He said Tara Grinstead was his teacher.

AAA said he had shed tears about what happened to Tara and about the fact he got caught. He said what he went through is not as hard as what Tara's family has been through.

"I don't think I could communicate how much remorse here," he said.

If that was Bo Dukes, and if he is guilty, then he has had 11 years to come forward and be remorseful. I don't know what that was on the discussion board, but it wasn't remorse. If I had to guess, I'd say it was more likely narcissistic and manipulative behavior, no matter who it was.

This case is beyond strange, and it gets stranger every day, and the sheer volume of news and rumor has made monitoring my Facebook and "Up and Vanished" more than a full-time job for me. I still can't believe that someone who was just released on bond would be posting about the case on the discussion board.

I'm just glad no one sneaked up behind me while I was reading it.